Some days, you really don’t know what you’re going to come up against until it’s right in your face.
I didn’t feel any soreness from yesterday’s strength workout, so I decided to be bold and do a 60-minute slow flow class instead of a restorative or Yin practice. Halfway in, my IT band was screaming. A few minutes after that, my shoulder was freezing up and my head felt like it was ready to burst. I felt so frustrated I was ready to throw down the towel. All sorts of aches and pains came up during the class, but it felt as if it was my mind I was fighting the most.
Part of me (a really big part) wanted to yell “f* this”, and call it a night. But some tiny part I didn’t even know I had in me was assuring me that it’s okay if I’m out of breath and can’t do the vinyasa – “just go into Child” – and that it’s okay if I can’t do Boat – “just close your eyes and breathe”. When I practice alone, I do that anyway (it’s a conscious decision), but it’s not the same in led classes where someone else is calling the shots. That voice didn’t feel like it was coming from inside me (I was the one who wanted to quit, after all), and getting to the end of the class felt unconscious. By the time we went into Shavasana, my headache was gone and my body felt “settled”.
It’s not as if I had a religious experience or anything. But, in retrospect, I understand that this was a piece of me that I simply haven’t really bothered to get to know. Food for thought…